Of course, unless you're family or close friend you probably don't know me and therefore don't care- except you're reading my blog. And that's awkward for all of us now, isn't it?
(Feel free to keep reading... my truly private laments are saved for the Secret Blog. Besides, this post is technically for you- for those who don't know.) I'm glad we got that cleared up.
His name is Chris. He is the most patient, giving, loving person I know. Standing next to him I feel completely incompetent in all those areas and yet he makes me feel like my love is all he needs. I also feel short.
It started in 1999. At the county fair. He had a BBQ stain on his white t-shirt... I was killin' him in my mini skirt... oh, wait. No, that wasn't me.
We did meet at the Lincoln County Fair though. I thought he was so cute with his baby face, gangly limbs and Wranglers. I was, well, me, but younger and with bad hair. I had just gotten my braces off around that time so my teeth were really straight, I'm sure. You get the idea...
Soon after I left for college we lost touch.
Fast forward... I graduate from Whitworth and move to Cannon Beach, OR.... Fast forward... I leave Cannon Beach due to too many bad hair days, newsprint on my fingers and a desire for less oxygen.... Fast forward... I'm living in Jackson, WY not learning how to ski... Fast forward... to 2009.
2009 was the toughest, most joyful year I've ever had. In February of that year I had Jackson. (extreme joy) I had moved back to Washington to be closer to family. (joy) I was a single mom with a newborn baby. (tough) I don't know how to say this without seeming like I'm ungrateful when there are so many people out there without jobs, but I didn't have the job I wanted. (tough) It was a year of growth and as with all growth- it comes with pain.
One day in 2009 an unexpected joy came walking through the door of the Starbucks I was working at. And let me just say that my life got incrementally better each day after that.
(I should clarify. I, in fact, went rushing out the door and ran into the unexpected joy.) It was Chris. All 6 feet and 10 inches of him. He looked similar, but grown up. He was slightly weathered from life's lessons, but so was I. He had tattoos. He wanted to meet later for coffee. I was wary.
I was wary for 6 months, but he just kept coming back. He kept coming back and proving to me that he was the greatest guy I'll ever meet. At one point my Aunt Cindy said to me after Chris had gone out of his way to show me he cared, "You know that was really sweet, right? You know that, right?" It was at that moment I realized I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for him to either get sick of trying and go away or to suddenly turn into a monster. He wasn't doing either and now, 11 months after that, he still hasn't.
Maybe I don't yet fully grasp the concept of love, but I feel like I'm getting closer through my relationship with Chris. (Motherly love being categorized as different. I had never experienced the kind of love I have for Jackson until I had him.)
A few weeks ago I heard someone speak about loving people in spite of themselves. Chris loves me in spite of me. Case in point: my car is filthy all of the time. I love Chris in spite of him. Case in point: Chris SLURPS tea. He slurps TEA! (His reason is that "it's just so good!") Point being: we're not perfect people, but we love each other despite our imperfections.
So there's the story- my cyber-confession of my undying love- minus some juicy details you can find in the Secret Blog.